I need sleep but it isn't happening.
Actually it is 3:17 and he is falling asleep!! Drinking precious pumped breast milk that I had to pump because he wouldn't nurse without letting go every 2 Seconds because it was coming out too fast.
I am not counting on him staying asleep.
And just like i thought he slept only 10 minutes.
My eyes feel like they are on fire. I have a head ache. My whole body hurts. My legs are throbbing. My right boob hurts like freaking crazy! I pumped but they still feel full. i think i am plugged up. he wants to nurse but he WILL not latch on! He will only take a bottle at night.
Now he is asleep on my chest again for 60 seconds.
I wish I trusted Neal better with all the kids so I could sleep in the evenings but I am always afraid he isn't going to feed them and that he will fall asleep too and we will be two neglectful sleeping parents.
Also I have to go shopping once in a while because we end up with zero good the twins will eat but I NEVER want to go out. It is too much work when i could be sleeping. Or Just not out an d about wearing myself out even more.
For some reason falcon has been getting out of bed every night at 3 am.
Every night I break down crying and am done with this. I plan to stop breast feeding and I plan to just give the babies a bucket of cereal and a bucket of water and sleep all day and let them destroy whatever they please.
Tonight my body started to ache and now it feels like I am getting the flu or something but it could just be my EXTREmE never before experienced tiredness catching up to me.
It is 6 and I think I heard one of the babies o pen their curtain and cannon just closed his eyes.
Seriously you have for to have one stein perspective to understand why anybody would want to do this everyday. I am not excited about any stage any of them will go through because they are just going to get worse.
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