Breast feeding was nice while it lasted. I was able to pump 5 oz total at the most so cannon was only getting 2 oz or maybe a little more from each side and I couldn't make him nurse longer. He would always stop when the milk stopped. I would pump often too and I took fenugreek. I would give him formula a few times a day i only ever made 2 oz and he would rarely finish it. And i would pump even when I gave him formula.  I know supplementing is "bad" when you are trying to breast feed. Anyway it just feels good giving your baby breast milk. I felt like though my milk never settled right in his stomach because he almost always had a nasty spit up right after. Formula poops are the worst by the way. Sooo hard to clean off!

So last week I was soo tired and fatigued that one day I just let w&f wreck the place, watch cartoons all day and I sleep walked to get them water and cereal which they ate all day... I slept and didn't eat and didn't pump and I gave him mostly formula and I  was slightly depressed and oh my back hurt. I might have written about that weirdness already. So my milk pretty much disappeared just like that. So fast. And then I felt bad about myself. I can't believe I ruined it like that.  And then Neal tries to solve all my problems and tell me what to do but he doesn't understand that breast milk doesn't just come in on its own like a faucet. It takes a crazy amount of attention. I said I would try 3 more days to build it up but it isn't really working. I expected to nurse him for he 2.5 seconds he will stay latched and them pump after that even if    nothing came out and give him a bottle of formula.  I have only pumped 1.5 ounces total in one pumping. That is not good.

Tomorrow is the 3rd day and after that I don't know what to do. I feel really bad just giving up. I didn't feel this way with w&f. Maybe because there were 2 and I didn't expect to last very long and I didn't. This baby I really wanted to breast feed but by giving him formula also I think I sabotaged it.

Here is one of the last times I pumped 5oz! I had to document it.  haha I mean it's so special. jk