38 Weeks

38 weeks with ONE

compared to 

 34 weeks with TWINS

It is crazy how much smaller I am with one baby. It's crazy that these pictures are 4 weeks apart! I mean it's obvious I'd be smaller this time but OH it FEELS SO MUCH SMALLER too. I don't feel as out of breath. I definitely don't get AS BAD of heart burn. I haven't had really painful hands while I sleep this time. I haven't had any swelling in my feet or legs.I think I have slightly more body fat this time since I didn't lose a bunch of weight from being as sick in the beginning as I was with W&F.
I am getting nervous with only having one more week until the scheduled Csection because I feel like I'm just going to have to get a csection and I really don't WANT that recovery time or pain with having 2 toddlers running around. Although I will have my mom here. I don't really want to be hunched over unable to laugh or move for months. I don't know how people recover so quickly from those things.
Anyway I am getting excited. I am getting our room more and more ready and even cleaning UNDER our refrigerator and stove....can't have a dirty house. I really wanted to shampoo the living room carpet because it is disgusting with a capital D but I don't know if that is going to happen. At least it needs to be done before Cannon can crawl.

Names

Waylen and Falcon were Waylen and Falcon pretty much from the minute we found out we were having twins.
When we found out I was pregnant again I was for SURE IT WAS A GIRL. IT HAD TO BE. IT wouldn't be fair if it wasn't a girl this time. I had plenty of girl names I LOVED that Neal DIDN'T but whatev.
Boy names we were struggling.
I didn't love anything. AND before we found out it was a boy I had fun getting a few cute girl things at Goodwill. And honestly if I hadn't been able to do that I don't think I would have been as ok with it being a boy. I got the girl shopping a tiny bit out of my system and it allowed me to say "I am buying pretty things but it's probably a boy" so even though I was buying girl stuff I didn't let it get my hopes up too high.
When we went to the ultrasound we had them put the picture in an envelope so we  could find out when we wanted instead of at the dr.'s office because I was afraid either way I would just cry too hard.
So afterwards we were sitting at home and couldn't get our mind off of it and decided to just open it already. It was a BOY of course. It was a really blurry picture so I wasn't happy about that either. I'm like if you're going to put a picture in an envelope for us make sure it's one that REALLY REALLY shows it's a boy.  SO I cried kind of a lot but got over it and still had a GLIMMER of hope it COULD be a girl because of the blurry picture. We had to get another more detailed ultrasound a week later because of some spots they found on the heart and it confirmed for sure it was a boy. But they said the heart issue wasn't an issue and that they see the same thing with other babies least once a week and most never turns out to be anything and that everything looked fine. So I'm still hoping that's the case.

SO THE NAME search began. I like to have names ahead of time to get used to them. I don't know how long it took us but we went back and forth with a few different names for quite a while and then all of a sudden Neal found the perfect middle name while looking on Netflix (Rhys) and it was one syllable which is what I wanted since Smith and Neal were W&F's middle names. Since I kind of don't like the idea of random names that don't have meaning of SOME kind to us Rhys was ok if we used a first name that meant something. Cannon was the ONLY name that we BOTH liked and it is Neal's Grandma's maiden name. So we shook hands on it and all that stuff the very second Neal found the name Rhys.

Then I saw a picture of a little baby on Instagram that had the name Cannon and it made me like the name EVEN more. and that was that.

Then a few weeks ago Neal was having second thoughts about it for no reason.
Then the other day I was for no reason. But both times decided not to change it.
Then after that at Helena's wedding reception........Neal tells me his aunt has wanted use the name Cannon. (and at the time I had totoally forgot she was pregnant with a BOY the same time I was?! how could I forget that?)  It made me feel kind of bad to find this out. Because it's not like you go to everyone in the family and ask if the names you are thinking about are on their lists too but I DID have a thought one time that I can't be the only one who would think to use it as a first name. It was used as a middle name enough times.
I guess it's going to be his name anyway unless Neal thinks of something better but he won't. and I'm just done thinking about it. My head hurts. And if Neal's aunt really wants to name him Cannon that's fine. I don't mind at all! It's a good name.

I still have a glimmer of hope that the baby will come out a girl and that the ultrasound was just a blob of umbilical cord or something place in just the right way........JK

37 Weeks

I am almost 38 weeks along with this baby.
It feels like forever ago that I had morning sickness and it also seems like it was just yesterday. I feel like I've been pregnant FOREVER but at the same time it's been fast and I can't believe he's almost here.
Waylen and Falcon have been kissing and rubbing my belly and saying "baby Canna" (Cannon) It's the cutest thing but I still don't know if they realize my belly is huge and different.
They are intrigued by babies so I think they will be good with him. Of  course I'm sure they will throw toys at him and accidentally do stuff they shouldn't eventually but hopefully they will be gentle and nice most of the time.

I don't know if I want it to happen asap or if I want more days to prepare. Of course I haven't done everything I want to do but at the same time I just don't know how much longer I can handle this child pushing on my insides. He is a strong one.

Today was a hard sort of day because I have a cough, runny nose, was extra tired even though I slept plenty, and W&F were whiny most of the day. Plus Waylen has a cough now too. I think I feel like I have to control everything too much. If I can get them to eat meals at the right times they are happier and play better and ask for less water. When they only eat snacks it's ALL DAY LONG they are whining for constant water bottle refills and they aren't happy. And then there's the constant diaper changes because of all the water refills and I feel like a slave. I get no rest.

I organized all their toys in their closet in closed bins so that I can rotate them out easier and only have a few OR ONE thing out at once. There's less to clean up than if they just have a toybox or multiple open baskets full of toys that they can just throw everywhere. But there are ALWAYS books out and always little scooters they can ride and balls and cars but everything else is put away for my sanity. For now anyway while they don't clean up after themselves and while I am pregnant and have a new baby. Cleaning up toys isn't fun.
Most of the time now they only want their duplos out anyway.

They like to make guns with their blocks and point them and yell "stop" I don't know where they got that from but it was kinda weird. I mean they are boys and they are going to do that kind of thing but it REALLY REALLY made me never want to give them toy guns that look like real ones. At this point in the world I think it is unnecessary to have toy guns that look real. If they want to make them out of legos that look nothing like real guns fine but there will be no mistaking guns for toys in this house. We will never own a real one anyway (maybe a bb gun someday) but never a real harmful gun. But someday they may have friends that live in houses with guns and I want them to know THEY ARE NOT TOYS. I'm not against guns completely but they have always made me nervous and they don't make me feel safer by any means....

Today they watercolor painted for the first time and they really have different styles. It was fun.